Been a bit quiet on here recently, mainly because of work, but life generally has been pretty busy recently. We have been working really hard on our decluttering, and I have lost track of the number of car loads of stuff that have now left our house. Despite the sheer quantity of stuff that was leaving we didn’t really seem to be making any difference. The house was still an absolute tip with clutter absolutely everywhere. I started to feel a little discouraged, like it was just too much for us, that we would never achieve a house which felt clear and spacious and organised. Yesterday we managed to do some quite major rearranging of our sitting room, and whilst it still needs a lot of work, the difference in how the room feels is palpable.
Trying not to get carried away with planning the end result, when there is so much work to put in before we get there. Have been finding myself getting a little distracted looking at paint colours and curtains. I have even been dreaming about cottage gardens and fern groves, which is definitely straying from our main aim of getting this house tidy and manageable. However it feels like every single day we are making progress in the right direction and that feels hugely positive.
This sense of progress has had such a big impact on my general mood. Feeling really very positive about life right now, which is making me feel more energetic and cheerful, which is having a definite knock-on effect on how much I appreciate the children, and how well I can cope with them. I think the state of the house had really been getting to me for so long, without me really acknowledging it.
Today I marched with hundreds of doctors and others in support of the junior doctors and in protest at the underfunding and overstretching of the NHS, really being emphasised by the threat of imposing an unsafe, unfair contract on the junior doctors. The demand at work just seems to keep increasing, and yet the government seem to be in total denial about what they are expecting from us. I am not planning on discussing politics here, my views are mine, and many people are able to discuss the intricacies of these things far more eloquently than me, but it was good to show my support today.
We marched from the hospital into the centre of the city, which very handily got me there just in time for my monthly reiki appointment. I don’t understand it at all, but he said that I was doing much better today, and that if I wanted to stop going I could. I definitely want to keep going. It feels like things are going so much better in my life right now, and whilst I’m not sure I can put that all down to reiki I think that making active choices to try and look after myself and make the time to do things that I love, it has definitely been a big part of it. I think that getting out and feeling some Spring sunshine on my face has played a part in that too. This last winter felt particularly hard.
So I know there is a long way to go in every aspect of my life. The house is still a mess. I still lose my temper with the children far more than I’d like. I still get terrified in strange social situations (the march was a little challenging today!) I still feel insecure at work at times, was reduced to tears by a patronising SHO just days ago. I still sleep badly, though last night was my second whole night’s sleep in the past few weeks!! There is so far for me to go, but it really feels like I have some idea how I’m going to get there now, and that has to be a good thing!